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I am a tattooist, artist, dj, and graphic designer. (Art geek.) I spent my 20's and early 30's partying my ass off, so I don't think I'll have a mid life crisis or anything like that. (My whole life is a daily crisis.

) I've done it all. (...and then some!) Right now I am focusing on my art. (Quit my job.) Working for other people is crazy!(justification for quiting.) Why trade time for dollars at something you either don't like, or aren't very good at? (Or both!) I'm never going to achieve the level of success I dream of, spending 40 hours a week working outside of my chosen proffession.

(Siting on my ass, the rest of the time, doesn't help.) So things may be a little financially tight for a while. (You're buying.

) If that's a problem, then go click on someone else. (Surprized you read this far anyway.) But if you aren't superficial (A souless Money Nazi.) Then by all means....please continue. (It gets worse.

)Be yourself. That's it! (Well who the Hell else would you be?) Be honest with yourself, and honest with me. The truth may sometimes hurt, but it will always set you free. (That's what mommy told me after Mr.

Kitty "ran away".) Don't pretend things are different than how they really are. (Like I was your first choice, for instance.) If it's just a booty call...fine. Be upfront about it.

(Plenty of booty to go around.) If you are looking for Mr. Right and the whole "Princess" package.......you should have clicked "back" a long time ago. Naive little princesses usually grow up to become Money Nazi's.

[Gold digger implies that work was involved.) Money Nazi's want more than what they got, and what they got is never enough! For example.....Hitler wasn't content with controlling all of Europe and Northern Africa.

Nope, he had to go bomb Britian and attack Russia too! So basically; I guess what I am trying to say is that ....Hitler was a whore? (I had nothing.)And that is why I don't date women with mustaches! (Finished even worse.

) ---God.....I am such a dork. Which brings me to my next qualification...sense of humor. (You are going to need one!) You had better be funny. (Because clearly I am not.

) I don't mean laughs a lot, I mean you better be the one crackin' jokes. (I just made a Hitler joke on an Adult website.) Personality goes a long way. (Far enough for two, I hope.) I am one of those weird people that needs to respect a person on a mental level, before I can feel anything more than physical attraction.

(When I say a woman I 'respect,' I really mean anyone who will put up with my bullsh1t.) I know....I'm like a chic that way!!! (How the Hell would I know?) But at least I'm up front about it.

(It's hard to miss.) Simple minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas. (Read that on a box of herbal tea when my ex said she wanted to get tea-bagged.

) What? ---I make a mean cup of tea.

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