HeatherLOCKLEAR
The Bitch Has Brains
Now entering her seventh year as America's most evil bitch, Amanda Woodward will surely be remembered as the role of Heather's career. The Melrose Place landlord has long trafficked in the art of wickedness, betraying friends and tenants alike by screwing their husbands and boyfriends with sociopathic glee. On the other hand, thirty-seven-year-old Heather is apparently the modicum (after all, she wears a size two) of decorum, despite a propensity for bedding tacky musicians, as exemplified by a rocky first marriage to Tommy Lee and current bliss with Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora. Unlike virtually every other star past and present, it is difficult to find anyone who will offer a bad word about Heather. All of her Melrose cohorts testify to her sweetness and, imagine this, intelligence. Apparently not just your average Cali beach bunny, Ms. Locklear's resume includes some shoddy projects but surprisingly, they lack the kind of sleaze that makes SKIN's engine purr. Hardcore fans have been forced to find their pleasure courtesy of a score of cheesecake shots and one (apparently body-doubled) shower scene in 1992's straight-to-vid Illusions (below).